I may be going out on a limb here, but why is it that so many people in our culture, church, and society do not understand what it means to be inclusive. I believe only a very small percentage of the population understands this because they are “watchers.” They watch everyone. They see how people treat each other. They have empathy and understand how it feels to be treated that way.
Here is an example. The young women in our ward are always sitting in cliques. I noticed that the women in the Relief Society do the same thing. The men do the same thing too, but in a different way. One time, a young women’s leader noticed one of the girls was always being excluded, and brought it up to the presidency. The president said that the young woman liked being alone, otherwise, she would just get in there and join the rest of the girls. When the other girls were confronted, it escalated to the parents. One of the mothers came to me and told me that a friendship between her daughter and the excluded young woman just wasn’t natural. I asked why, and she said that their instinct just wasn’t to reach out to her if they wanted to talk to someone, and then she told me I understood, right?
Well, I don’t understand. We have people struggling with their testimonies and that struggle is not helped when they are treated this way at church. It is the most natural thing in the world to connect with other people, but some people just don’t want to make the effort.
Here’s my take on being inclusive. Remember, the first rule, is that your friends are already taken care of. So let’s use the pandemic as an example. Let’s say we need to spread the word about the pandemic to everyone and make sure they are taken care of. Of course, our first instinct is to reach out to our besties. Then we feel a sense of satisfaction because we checked in on someone and they were okay. But what about everyone else? Why can’t we think of the most disconnected or isolated person in the ward and make sure they are okay? Nobody is checking on them. Ever.
The same thing with ministering. Just love people and be their friend. That’s where it starts. Nobody should be a project because everyone should be our friend. There is no natural/unnatural thing about it. Just love. That’s what Jesus taught us.
Elder Kearon taught us in the October 2024 General Conference that this is the church of joy. Think about that young woman and her parents. Do you think they felt joy? Why are they not entitled to feel joy because it is a little uncomfortable for us to wiggle outside our comfort zones just for a second to say hi to someone or not save a seat or invite someone who looks left out to come sit with us. Are we afraid of what it would be like to have a new friend? Are we afraid of what other people would think of us if they saw us being friendly toward someone like that?
My advise: just don’t be like that. Don’t not reach out to someone because it doesn’t feel natural. Reach out no matter what. There are very few instances where you would ever regret it. And, on the bright side, you will have a new friend.
I may be going out on a limb here, but why is it that so many people in our culture, church, and society do not understand what it means to be inclusive. I believe only a very small percentage of the population understands this because they are “watchers.” They watch everyone. They see how people treat each other. They have empathy and understand how it feels to be treated that way.
Here is an example. The young women in our ward are always sitting in cliques. I noticed that the women in the Relief Society do the same thing. The men do the same thing too, but in a different way. One time, a young women’s leader noticed one of the girls was always being excluded, and brought it up to the presidency. The president said that the young woman liked being alone, otherwise, she would just get in there and join the rest of the girls. When the other girls were confronted, it escalated to the parents. One of the mothers came to me and told me that a friendship between her daughter and the excluded young woman just wasn’t natural. I asked why, and she said that their instinct just wasn’t to reach out to her if they wanted to talk to someone, and then she told me I understood, right?
Well, I don’t understand. We have people struggling with their testimonies and that struggle is not helped when they are treated this way at church. It is the most natural thing in the world to connect with other people, but some people just don’t want to make the effort.
Here’s my take on being inclusive. Remember, the first rule, is that your friends are already taken care of. So let’s use the pandemic as an example. Let’s say we need to spread the word about the pandemic to everyone and make sure they are taken care of. Of course, our first instinct is to reach out to our besties. Then we feel a sense of satisfaction because we checked in on someone and they were okay. But what about everyone else? Why can’t we think of the most disconnected or isolated person in the ward and make sure they are okay? Nobody is checking on them. Ever.
The same thing with ministering. Just love people and be their friend. That’s where it starts. Nobody should be a project because everyone should be our friend. There is no natural/unnatural thing about it. Just love. That’s what Jesus taught us.
Elder Kearon taught us in the October 2024 General Conference that this is the church of joy. Think about that young woman and her parents. Do you think they felt joy? Why are they not entitled to feel joy because it is a little uncomfortable for us to wiggle outside our comfort zones just for a second to say hi to someone or not save a seat or invite someone who looks left out to come sit with us. Are we afraid of what it would be like to have a new friend? Are we afraid of what other people would think of us if they saw us being friendly toward someone like that?
My advise: just don’t be like that. Don’t not reach out to someone because it doesn’t feel natural. Reach out no matter what. There are very few instances where you would ever regret it. And, on the bright side, you will have a new friend.
The Imperative of Inclusivity: A Scientific and Sociological Perspective
Abstract
This article examines the concept of inclusivity within religious and social contexts, analyzing behavioral patterns and their impact on community cohesion. We explore the psychological underpinnings of exclusionary behavior and propose evidence-based strategies for fostering a more inclusive environment.
Introduction
The phenomenon of social exclusion, particularly within structured community settings such as religious organizations, presents a significant challenge to social cohesion and individual well-being. This analysis aims to deconstruct the mechanisms behind exclusionary behaviors and offer empirically-supported solutions.
Observational Data
Case Study: Exclusionary Behavior in Religious Youth Groups
Recent observations indicate a prevalent pattern of social stratification among young women in a local religious ward. This behavior extends to adult groups, manifesting in gender-specific ways. A notable incident involved the systematic exclusion of an individual, rationalized by leadership and peers as a matter of personal preference rather than a social issue.
Parental Influence on Exclusionary Behavior
Parental attitudes play a crucial role in perpetuating exclusionary behaviors. In one documented instance, a parent justified their child’s exclusionary actions by citing a lack of “natural” affinity, demonstrating a fundamental misunderstanding of social dynamics and the importance of cultivated inclusivity.
Theoretical Framework
The ‘Watcher’ Phenomenon
A small subset of the population, termed “watchers,” demonstrates heightened empathetic abilities and social awareness. These individuals serve as potential catalysts for social change due to their acute understanding of interpersonal dynamics.
The Impact of Exclusion on Religious Conviction
Exclusionary practices within religious communities can significantly impact individual faith and community engagement. This correlation necessitates a reevaluation of social practices within religious contexts to align with core theological principles of universal acceptance.
Proposed Interventions
The Pandemic Model of Inclusivity
Utilizing the COVID-19 pandemic as a paradigm, we propose a model of inclusivity that prioritizes outreach to the most isolated individuals within a community. This approach challenges the natural tendency to focus on established social connections and encourages a more comprehensive community engagement strategy.
Redefining Ministering Practices
We advocate for a shift in the conceptualization of ministering from a task-oriented approach to one centered on genuine interpersonal connection. This realignment with fundamental religious teachings emphasizes universal love and acceptance.
Recent Developments
Elder Kearon’s address at the October 2024 General Conference, emphasizing joy as a central tenet of religious experience, provides a theological foundation for inclusivity. This directive challenges communities to evaluate whether their current social structures facilitate or hinder the experience of joy for all members.
Conclusion
The cultivation of an inclusive community requires conscious effort to overcome ingrained social behaviors. By adopting a scientific approach to understanding and addressing exclusionary practices, religious and social groups can create environments that truly embody their core values of acceptance and love.
Recommendations for Future Research
Further studies should focus on:
- Quantifying the long-term effects of inclusivity on community cohesion
- Developing metrics for measuring the success of inclusivity initiatives
- Exploring the neurological basis of empathy in “watcher” individuals
By approaching inclusivity with the rigor of scientific inquiry, we can develop more effective strategies for creating truly welcoming and supportive communities.